Toy Machine Demo Minneapolis, MN

An 89 photo MEGA-post featuring fly-on-the-wall coverage from beginning to end (except when I was skating) of the Toy Machine demo in St. Paul, Minnesota (why did they bill it as Minneapolis?) as the finale of the Zumiez Couch Tour 2010. Kevin is having computer problems, so you will have to wait until his computer is fixed to see his mega-post.
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Look how small this plane was. Deanna would be having none of this.
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Leaving the LBC, that little white dot (can you see that?) used to house the Spruce Goose, and right next to that is the Queen Mary, and that boat to the right of that (you can only see the wake) is probably taking a bunch of people to Catalina Island.
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So we have a connection in Phoenix, AZ, and we are cruising through the airport to our next gate and this kid passes us and nearly has a heart attack. He says, "I'm Hemlock Drew, I comment all the time on the website!" He then opened his backpack and pulled out his Toy hoody to prove he was repping Toy.
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Damn. Just like that all these frequent commenters are getting up on the site. D. Briggs, Mike, now Hemlock Drew. The tentacles are long reaching. Nice to meet you Hemlock Drew.
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At the airport I tried to rent a van, and was told I was on the "No Rent List." No doubt something Billy Marks had done in the past that I am now suffering for. And we couldn't find a 12 seater van, so we had to rent a Suburban, but when we got the keys, they slipped us a Tacoma. 9 dudes in a car that seats 5. Fast forward to eating shitty food at a Perkins. Johnny scored himself some banana cream pie, much to the delight of Leo, who had requested that J-Lay eat a pie, and even ordered one for him.
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Figure: A. J-Lay eats said cream pie. Billy wishes he bought 2 new iPhones instead of just one so his infant child Catch can have one too and they could video chat - stroller to tour van.
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"Can I have some regular steamed broccoli?" – Ed Templeton
"No. It comes pre-made in a bag with butter already in it." – Perkin's waitres
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Austin existing as usual.
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Before we demonstrate our skateboard skills we must hydrate and eat a good breakfast.
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This is the Zumiez VIP tent. (later partially damaged by J-Lay and yours truly in a vulgar display of rock-stardom.) A very nice place with snacks and fans, cool water, and free hats and sunglasses.
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Matt B was going incognito, disguised as a kid who might be coming to this event to "see the band."
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Josh Harmony couldn't make it due to his injured hip. We missed him.
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Leo Romero and the high art of hat making. Try finding these at your local haberdasher. I become the top to Dan-Lu's bottom.
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A sample of the bevy of edibles that await a professional skateboarder in the VIP tent at a Zumiez demo.
See photos of the demo courtesy of Kyle Burt on the events page, dog.

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New Toy rider Collin Provost (aka The Colonial Footsoldier), who has thrashed his knee while getting Gnar-Boots for Stay Gold, invested his time off the board interfacing with young women in hopes of some sort of twilight coitus soiree.
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The barbarians at the gate. All trying to no avail to get behind the stupid fence and for what?
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This girl looks like she tripped and fell face first into her dad's tackle box. She has also been marked on the neck by an overzealous face sucker. Perhaps another girl. For such an outward "look at me" move, that would make a lot of sense actually. Regardless, Trapasso's on the lurk.
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I think Daniel Lutheran, with all his New Mexican charm lured these fledgling strumpets to his "backstage."
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The demo was over, look for that on YouTube now... (or the Skateboarding.com website...) Kyle Burt's photos of the demo can be seen on the EVENTS page. Now it was the signing, an event that always takes much longer than the demo for some reason. I'm still - after doing this for more than 20 years - shocked that a kid would wait in a two hour line for anybody's autograph, much less some pro skater. And I would say about half don't even know who's autograph they are getting.
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Some of the more interesting quarry from the autograph line...
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Toy pride for days.
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Re-fashioned Toy hat for one excited customer.
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"Yes, I'll sign your ironic oversized Wu-Tang belt buckle."
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It's like you can look right through them.
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Dan-Lu, Nick, and Collin started signing their phone numbers along with their signatures in hopes of captivating some fawn.
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Then this lady with the gigantic face came through and the numbers were flying onto the posters. Her clever ruse worked, and the tables were turned on these amatuers.
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Our hordes are growing! The Loyal Pawn army will soon rise up and overtake all of this mediocre pablum around us.
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Ewok doing a tre-flip while holding a scepter.
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I bet all of these people buy Toy Machine products and know who every person on the team is.
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Toy Commandment #2: The Loyal Pawns shall make graven images of the Transistor Sect to worship daily.
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Yep, those are there forever. You can't really see the Monster energy drink logo tattooed on his arm.
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Hey Hot Topic, what you got cooking?
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A Loyal Pawn for many years.
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"Why am I waiting in this 2-hour line again?"
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Finally, Chipotle makes skateboards. There goes another 2 dollars from Matt Bennett's pro career.
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Toy for life, fool. That shit is essential.
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"When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn." –Mark Twain
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I can't tell if that is underwear or just a giant dark un-navigable cavern between jeans and belly?
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There was a bull riding situation, but none of us had time to handle it.
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Bros.
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What's an Eskimo kiss between bros? G-Code.
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Somehow we found a minute to take a dip in the polluted pool. No matter how rambunctious we got, no one seemed to care. Like they dared us to do something worth getting kicked out for.
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Then the convoluted dance of flirtation, or rather leering and lewd comments began. And I was there to witness this first-hand and bring back photo documentation of it's occurrence.
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These nice girls didn't know any of us, and they just walked into a hotel room full of strange men while drunk. Even though we are harmless, that seems like a risky habit...
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Whoa! Billy Marks is actually wearing a Toy Machine shirt! I had to get some coverage of that.
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Fancy dinner was on Zumiez (Thanks Zumies!) This was Matt B's steak.
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Like an apparition in the night, the Romero emerges triumphant like a phoenix from the flames.
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Dan-Lu and Leo, get amongst it.
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Bill, not looking suspicious.
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A defacement of J-Lay's bed with a marker and some snack-mix.
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Johnny pillow-fought the snacks off his bed.
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Daniel was quite pickled.
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Johnny re-arranging his bed proved to be of significant amusement for all of us.
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Then Johnny picked up Kevin and threw him onto the box spring like he was a plush toy. Kevin's shirt did not fare well in the incident.
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Nick was karate-kicking the roof panels.
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The hotel hallway which smelled like a dead skunk, complete with shattered roof tiles and loud music, and not one person came to put a stop to it.
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"Hey Nick, can you hold my purse?"
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Simultaneously downstairs in the hotel bar, there was a raging party of middle-aged Asian people, and Matt B, Austin and Leo were already up in there tearing up the dance floor.
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This day was somehow becoming more surreal.
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"All the ills of mankind, all the tragic misfortunes that fill the history books, all the political blunders, all the failures of the great leaders have arisen merely from a lack of skill at dancing." –Moliere
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Leo grabbed my camera and started dancing with this lady whose skirt had risen up way past her panty-line, and could give a fuck.
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There was some serious dirty dancing going down, but mostly from the older women. I saw at least 3 grandmothers go down. And at least one simulated doggy-style fucking go down. Also a lot of girl on girl lap dance type moves and chair grinding.
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Leo-cam
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Total mirth.
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This guy was amped on us, I think? He bought us all beers.
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Austin's ankle after the demo. Collin was already jacked, J-Lay got a little jacked, and Austin got taken out. Damn those hurricane grinds.
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The next day finally arrived, and here we are in the airport.
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What? this is how I relax, bro.
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Sexy, right?
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"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." –Carl Sagan
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Homeward bound...
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Do the fucking tray tables really need an advertisment?
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The beauty of America is breathtaking.
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"All of us have a place in history. Mine is clouds." –Richard Brautigan
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Are we there yet?
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Another stop in Phoenix.
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"Are you talking to the lady up front? Tell her whats up for me." –Daniel Lutheran
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Daniel hits on some kids mom in the autograph line in Minneapolis. She says, "I'm too old for you." And he retorts, "You're prime-time baby!" giving the middle-aged woman a big smile. He has that effect on people.
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Your future looks bright. Keep your head.
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See you bros later. There's a new L. Kincade to watch, or not.
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Back in Long Beach after 46 hours away. Matt B was taking the bus home for 99¢.

Upcoming Event:
ED TEMPLETON IN CONVERSATION WITH GREG ESCALANTE, CRAIG STECYK, & ANNIE ADJCHAVANICH
Event date: Thursday, August 12, 2010
Location: OCMA pavilion, possibly courtyard
Time: 6-8 pm (6 pm Galleries open, mingling, food; 7 pm panel followed by Q&A and film clip)


Hot Links:

My current shows:
In New York City: At the
ICP
. (Perspectives)
In Orange County: At the Orange County Museum of Art
(New Art for a New Century: Contemporary Acquisitions)
Deanna's current shows:
In Heerlen, Netherlands: At the
Schunck*


Upcoming shows:
Cemetery of Reason at the MAN - Museo d'Arte Provincia di Nuoro, Sardinia, Italy.

Deanna's in the new Juxtapoz - !!!

Upcoming Zine show in Torrance...
You can get most of my books directly through Roberts and Tilton
And Arcana Books on the Arts
This Long Century
Order The Seconds Pass book
Buy the Drinking the Kool-Aid book - almost sold out!
Drinking the Kool Aid Review at Photo-Eye Blog
Deanna's Blog
Dennis McGrath's Blog
Tiny Vices Portfolio
Ed and Deanna's Food Blog
Toy Machine Sock-Team
Kevin Barnett's Photo Portfolio
Grant Hatfield's Blog
Posted July 5th, 2010 by The mothership operator and your overlord.
This post is ESSENTIAL!
Posted By: Nuggs Bunny on July 5th, 2010 at 12:49AM PST
DevinBriggs.com
Posted By: Devin on July 5th, 2010 at 02:42AM PST
Shameless self promotion for Mr. Briggs. Thought he would stop after he got called out.
Posted By: Say Something on July 5th, 2010 at 12:19PM PST
God damnit Devin...

This post is too good.
First off, Nick & Collin need to start carding chicks before getting down. Sweet ass Asian party. I need to start checking those out.
Great photos. Looks super fun.
I wish I was a pro skater so I could have times like these. Sometimes.

I like big faces. I bet the dudes were all over that. Does Austin ever get his? I bet he's the only nice guy, other than Dan Lu, which looks just rad.

I'll post more later. This is huge.
I'm hungover. Happy 5th of July.

I found a dope spot behind the Belle Terra on Edinger near Beach. Gotta be creative though.

Love ya'.
Posted By: Jacob on July 5th, 2010 at 12:56PM PST
Oh, what's up Hemlock!!
Posted By: Jacob on July 5th, 2010 at 01:00PM PST
HEMLOCK HAHA!
MATT B DANCING AT THE PARTY WAS THE ICING ON THE CAKE.
gREAT PHOTOS.
REALLY COOL HOW IM NOT THERE!
Posted By: JOSIAH on July 5th, 2010 at 01:22PM PST
damn, those girls could be going to my school for all i know. how is one young human supposed to find a genuine other human being these days? not at zumiez i guess
Posted By: crayons on July 5th, 2010 at 01:32PM PST
this post is just what i needed, honestly.

"Can I have some regular steamed broccoli?"

"these fucking pro skaters think they spartan warriors or some shit!'' the waitress really said something like that

hahahahahaha

TOY FUR LYPH
Posted By: TurtlBoy'sTwin on July 5th, 2010 at 01:44PM PST
hah I have that sabbath shirt :]
I swear Collin has the best shirts
according to my calculations you won't have to post again for another year.
Posted By: Kilgore Trout on July 5th, 2010 at 03:05PM PST
Amazing!
Stupendous!
Table to pool is genius I tell you!
Posted By: Eggs McManus on July 5th, 2010 at 03:14PM PST
Colin has amazing taste in music

COOL, it's hemlock drew, whats up.

I draw sects everywhere, I'll probably comment more on Ed's page.
Posted By: john on July 5th, 2010 at 04:50PM PST
BIG BOY ha ha
Posted By: shithead on July 5th, 2010 at 05:45PM PST
These post made me lought hahah
all of you guy s got a good time
those asian women were "shakejunt status" hahaha
thanks for posting this i needed it!
Posted By: Aldo Di Bella on July 5th, 2010 at 05:49PM PST
http://vimeo.com/13080979 SKATING IN MILWAUKIE OREGON. TOYMACHINE FOR LIFE.
Posted By: JONATHAN GEITER on July 5th, 2010 at 06:00PM PST
I'M FAMOUS NOW. ha ha ha.

can I shamelessly self-promote?
www.hemlockrecords.com and
www.orangedrinkmusic.com

but seriously, here's my toy machine animation:
http://bit.ly/aw0sSC
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on July 5th, 2010 at 07:43PM PST
I thought I was going to pass out I was so excited. I was going to tell everyone how awesome they are but I forgot to. As Ed said goodbye, Austin came up and got on the moving walkway and Ed said, "Hey, there's Austin" and Austin just smiled. It was pretty awesome.

There needs to be a TM pawn convention so we can all hang out in real life.
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on July 5th, 2010 at 08:02PM PST
Ok. I'm gonna comment on every photo. Here goes.

Aren't little planes louder? I guess less people and less waiting to get out.so that's alright.

Next two photos are virtually the same. Uhhh..you can see some cool shit when you're in a plane.

Hemlock Drew-
Nice mustache. The hoodie and Boston hat kinda give you that kreeper look. your identity has been revealed.

I give up on commenting every single photo. Anyway, It sucks when restaurants have their dishes pre-made. I guess that's how they get all their shit to taste the same.

Is that Sect on a napkin? Someone sold a napkin with Andy Warhol's drawing of butterflies,sold for thousands. Maybe some mexican busboy came and picked that shit up. worth 49574938572340578 dollars.

damn,Kevin's chest hair. Leo looks like he wants some snuggles.

Austin, wearing a New Era brad 59fifty hat.
I'm wearing a SF giants hat right now. Even though I don't follow baseball at all.

Free shit? I would have brought a backpack and stuffed some things in there for my family. Or to resell or something.trade things.
I saw some of those Zumiez sunglasses at a thrift store.

Those glasses are actually pretty ugly.

X-treme as fuck weight pumping delicous processed as fuck sk8gnar meat snacks. America loves their heavily processed food almost as much as war. $$$$ over powers people's well being.

Nice tackle box joke. made me LOL. Dude,they have twilight toys at Burger King. Eat my fucking kids meal and stare into Robert pattinsons eyes.

It shouldn't be surprpsing how short the demoes are. Zumiez isn't really even about skateboarding,just all the other xtreme lifestyle shit.

So,if a girl were to fuck that one guy she'd see that Wu-tang logo. Bring the ruckus on her pussy.

That one dude is wearing that one Fallen shirt that billy wore for 2008 or something.

That guys felt looking panel art thing is pretty cool. You don't see kids getting creative at Baker Shake Junt demoes or whatever. maybe bring your Zero skulls with you.

You know how mexicans have little shrines,I guess make one of turtle boy. Super.

That guy has some of the worst fucking tattoos. Super lame,bro. Brian Anderson has cool as fuck tattoos though. He's like one of the only dudes who I've been like "holy shit,those are all cool tattoos"

A couple of months ago,I mentioned to my brother "dude,what if you put a dildo on top of a bullriding machine?"

Eskimo kiss was pretty steeeeeeez-e. Dude. I was in the Bay Area in a skatepark,and the kids were seriously saying "Steeze" I though that shit was just a joke. Also "Josiah Gatelynn status". This one kid that was like 9 was pretty insane though.

What fancy dinner did Johnny have?

Big Boy. I wonder if Johnny likes the band Big Boys. Man,johnny was a twig in Good and Evil. He still has massive pop. Then again,Leo does too. But hey,who has a signature Vans shoe and Vans signature clothing line?

Wow,Toy Machine gang bang those girls. Dude,it would be weird boning girls with your friends. I was listening to the radio a while back some talk show. and this guy was tired of his friend asking the caller's girlfriends if they'd like to have a threesome. And they usually ended up doing it despite his wishes. What a retarded friend to have.

Dan Lu looked fucked up with those beers,or sleepy.

*Note: Austin wasn't getting crazy.

Asian lady is a MILF.cool.

That party looks like something I'd be like at and then think to myself "What the fuck am I doing here?"

That adverisement on that plane thing is a bummer. Like those TV's they have at Gas stations...ughhh...

Imagine waking up and seeing your mother making Dan Lu breakfast. "This is your new daddy". You went through 3 last week.

Matt B,pro,and wearing differnet shades of black.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on July 5th, 2010 at 08:10PM PST
How the fuck did he get on the bus for 99c when it's fuckin 1 25 PRO DISCOUNT?!
Posted By: kaiserwilhelm on July 5th, 2010 at 09:14PM PST
ha ha Jgonzalez now I\'m screwed since the Anti-Toy army will hunt me down now they know what i look like.

what up to John
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on July 6th, 2010 at 12:07AM PST
yeah, hemlock is a dead man. i ride for darkstar lolz
Posted By: crayons on July 6th, 2010 at 08:23AM PST
Me enamore de la nena rubia de la foto 27 como no la secuestraron. JAjaja
Posted By: Fede on July 6th, 2010 at 08:59AM PST
i have been slacking......

Nice to see another commenter. Hello Hemlock Drew.

Where do i even begin? haha. Napkin drawing is awesome.
At the NJ demo, i saw Ed wearing his usual orange trucker hat, but then when he skated he was wearing a white hat.....now i know why haha. to be honest, i saw it on the RVCA blog too haha.

THE FUCKING VIP TENT!!!!!!!!
"Here you go pro skateboarders!! Have some sloppy meat sticks, a lighter, water, starbursts, snickers and reeses peanut butter cups."
"Whats the problem?......Oh, you guys eat real food?.....I was unaware."
What the fuck is going on with those luxurious foods back there? haha

Hyped on the Toy pawns haha

Horrible Tattoos.....i can't even say anymore. Just horrible.

Can't get over that dark chasm. Thanks Ed! haha

Leo loves poking fun at people haha, but Leo is awesome

The dance floor and the lady with the skirt rolling up.....priceless haha
How can one post be so filled with good shit? Blows my mind.

Hope Austin heals soon.

JGonz, is your identity going to be revealed this year? haha
Posted By: Mike on July 6th, 2010 at 10:33AM PST
oh, i also want to say good job to ed for conquering your new jersey demons and getting your tricks in Minnesota
Posted By: Mike on July 6th, 2010 at 10:45AM PST
JGonz has already been revealed:
http://www.toymachine.com/newspost/4676/oddity+odyssey+day+8+smoky+and+the+bandit/
Posted By: ed on July 6th, 2010 at 12:18PM PST
rather be revealed and speak freely than lurk. personal preference I suppose.
Posted By: DanHengel on July 6th, 2010 at 03:46PM PST
I've grown since then,4 waist sizes and 2 shirt sizes. And a mustache.
Jgonz sighting,2010,gonna happen? Maybe. It's a small world.
Let me find out where Kevin lives....muahahah..

DenHengel doesn't know nothin' 'bout Trollin on the internet.

Mike is right. Nice to see Mr.T shredding the fuck on those demoes. Make those 12 year olds with their milf mom's poop their pants seeing this old guy ripping when their step-dad only drinks beer all day.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on July 6th, 2010 at 07:20PM PST
OH SNAP THERE'S JGONZ!

I've been AWOL from posting because i've been reading the posts via RSS feeds instead of coming to the site.
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on July 6th, 2010 at 07:21PM PST
Yep,Hemlock,I was like 15. Now I'm near 18.
I've been wondering why you haven't been commenting lately.
Turtleboy's twin and Crayons are two other dudes that come thru every now and then.

Mike,you need a cooler nickname screen name thing. not something like "Mixmaster mikey" or something.lolol.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on July 6th, 2010 at 09:15PM PST
Yeah, well obviously i'm not going to do the RSS thing anymore, because I realize I need to comment to keep up with the TM pawn gossip. How was everyone's 4th of July? I am visiting my family and we are having fun at the beach. There is a skatepark here but I didn't bring my board.

it's official: mixmaster mikey
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on July 6th, 2010 at 09:25PM PST
hot link :
http://www.thrashermagazine.com/component/option,com_hwdvideoshare/Itemid,90/lang,en/task,viewvideo/video_id,675/

Welcome back to the party,'Drew.Or should I say, "drewster!?!" Just kidding. Hemlock Drew is a cool enough name.
You can see my 4th of July on my blog. jgonz4ever.tumblr.com
more of my day coming soon. I basicly went to an Amusement Park the whole day and then watched a fireworks display in Santa Clara. Super fun.
How smooth of a plug in was that? Completely shameless.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on July 6th, 2010 at 09:33PM PST
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4pnqiZYdK1qbno3mo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1278564325&Signature=pQAQneWZN%2B6dCN9caHt2g2FlG7A%3D

whose boobs Jgonz?
Posted By: Burdock Root on July 6th, 2010 at 09:46PM PST
A friend of my brother's. Nothing sexual happened, so don't get too excited,my boy.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on July 6th, 2010 at 10:20PM PST
hahaha NEW PAWNS!
shout outs to josh harmony for not being there!
Posted By: josiah on July 6th, 2010 at 11:09PM PST
One Of The Greatest Posts EVER!!!
Posted By: Scisssorhands on July 7th, 2010 at 08:43AM PST
THANK YOU ED AND KEVIN. good work team.
Posted By: MATTY on July 8th, 2010 at 09:23AM PST
It was hilarious. I first saw J-Lay, and was like "hey that dude looks like Johnny Layton. Except shorter."

and then the entire team was flying by me on a moving walkway and I couldn't believe it.
Posted By: Hemlock Drew on July 8th, 2010 at 06:39PM PST
I LOVE ALL THE PHICTURES

CHINGON TOYMACHINE
Posted By: EL LOCO on January 6th, 2011 at 07:21PM PST
toy machine ,chupasangre
Posted By: EL LOCO on January 6th, 2011 at 07:23PM PST
free online drunk porn videos
Posted By: FenteeodokS on February 2nd, 2011 at 05:07PM PST
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