i had to look up "frazzled" in the dictionary
my word of the day, thanks ed!
my point and shoot digital camera broke,
it was a hundred dollar canon
haven't been taking pictures these days, i actually kinda miss fooling around with it.
maybe i should wait until i buy smartphone
i was just watching conan right now and bob odenkirk was the guest
and they joked about how shooting in black and white makes everything more dramatic
hilarity ensued as usual
but thats true, sometimes b/w makes you feel a more serious perspective of what is seen
i really dig b/w, or at least i truly appreciate what you do, ed.
you teached me to like it, man!
everybody wants to be safe after the unknown
i saw a video where a pelican ate a gull
pelican rhymes with pecan
i enjoy the pecan pie my dad gets at walmart
i love my dad, i miss my family.
you can tell a lot about a man by looking at their shoes
i think the same can me said about pants.
that girl is mexican.
playing dress up as a kid rules,
as an adult too.
maybe thats why we all enjoy halloween
because it reminds us when we were kids or because its fun
or maybe both.
and for reasons we don't know, we stop doing it.
the same can be said about other things too, like art.
kinda like what you said in beautiful losers, its a tragedy when kids grow out of drawing.
close one, though
we never leashed our dogs when i lived in mex
or took them out for a walk.
what we did do was get a dog when puppy and let them hang out at our house and leach them to a tree with water and food for some days,
then we unleash them and run around like crazy and lurk around the street to poop and explore,
then they come back.
they learn we care for them and come back.
every time i see an accordion i think of the toy machine tour theme song.
that man looks mexican too.
making music with arms, fingers, and mouth.
Posted By: fresh from mex on December 20th, 2013 at 01:29AM PST
Thanks for your mega-comment Fresh!
Posted By: ed on December 22nd, 2013 at 10:37AM PST
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Posted By: S on December 25th, 2013 at 12:15PM PST
merry christmas ed.
everybody. happy holidays
Posted By: Jgonzalez on December 25th, 2013 at 11:28PM PST
Merry Xmas everyone and happy new year!
Posted By: Josiah on December 26th, 2013 at 01:03PM PST
Posted By: Jgonzalez on December 28th, 2013 at 12:27AM PST
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year everyone.
been sad lately. My grandpa is in the hospital. He's 91. Haven't felt like doing anything really the past month or so, but I'm glad I came on here cause I'm really digging the last pelican photo.
Hope everyone has a happy, healthy and safe New Years. I love you guys
Posted By: Mike on December 30th, 2013 at 10:11PM PST
My Grandpa passed away late last night.
Losing him is really tough to say the least. I don't know, I thought I should let you guys know for some reason.
Posted By: Mike on January 5th, 2014 at 04:30PM PST
Sorry to hear that Mike. I hope he had an awesome life.
Posted By: ed on January 7th, 2014 at 06:30PM PST
i'm sorry about your grandfather, mike, my condolences on your loss.
these holidays weren't very merry for my family either
this very close uncle on my dads side passed away on x-mas eve and i received the news by myself in my apartment
definitely a kick in the balls, made me wish i was next to my dad supporting him; both of them were very close
the service was on new years eve and the burial in new years morning.
i feel you, mike.
my words won't soothe your pain at the moment, only time and hugs will
lets hang in there
Posted By: fresh from mex on January 10th, 2014 at 04:49PM PST
How close to your grandfather were you, mike? Losing an older relative is hard. He's hopefully in a better place. The memories are forever
So. Uh. What have you guys been up to?
Anyway. I thought I'd let you guys know I'm trying to move to the Bay Area. Wanted to live in the city, but, way too expensive. Trying for Oakland, Berkeley or Alameda. So. Will see if that happens. Going with my GF. Hopefully I can go to more art shows/see bands and shit.
Posted By: Jgonzalez on January 12th, 2014 at 01:10PM PST
i graduate this spring.
looking forward to skate, work, gain experience for my masters, travel
sf is in my list to visit this summer on my bike, hopefully you've moved to the bay area by then
Posted By: fresh from mex on January 12th, 2014 at 04:27PM PST
Thanks everyone for the nice words.
I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you, fresh. These holidays sucked for both of us. Again, thanks for what you wrote.
I did get to spend a lot of time with him and I was very close with him. But you never get to have enough time with someone like that. A thousand years wouldn't have been enough time. I don't know if that sounds cheesy, but I loved my grandfather. I'm thankful for the times we had, but I just wish he didn't have to die. It really sucks being without him. He's in a great place, and I know wherever he is, he's happy. He finally gets to see my dad's mother; his first wife and in his own words "the only woman I've ever loved". I think he married twice after that. She died when my dad was 17, of breast cancer. My grandpa had tons of girlfriends and even had one up until he passed away.
He had the foresight to write my Dad and uncle a note that they would only see when they looked through his stuff. And he talked about how it may be hard for us, but not for us to worry about him. He talked about other family stuff too, but he just felt his time was coming and wanted my dad and uncle to remain close and just trying to reassure us.
I've been crying so much lately. I don't feel hXc tuff. Could be all this music I'm listening to. Currently on Elliot Smith right now. If anyone wants to recommend me more sad music, please do. I feel that I can't listen to anything uplifting. I only wanna hear sad songs.
I feel like I could just drive to his house and he'd be inside sitting on his chair watching t.v. ready for me to take him out to lunch. But that'll never happen again. It's killing me.
This is my first real close loss. I thank you guys for always being so cool. I don't feel judged talking here. I hope not anyway.
JGonz- psyched for you moving to the Bay Area if it happens. Sending positive vibes your way
and Ed- thanks for the words. He had many many stories to tell. Most of the time he'd just tell the same ones over and over again haha, but there were a lot of good ones. You might appreciate this, I don't know. When he was in WWII, he was constantly on the move(he was under Patton's command) and he got a month off randomly. He wound up in Paris and decided to go to the Eiffel Tower restaurant. I guess he got really drunk and towards the end of the night he shouted "Champagne for everyone!". Military Police came and took him away. But apparently my dad was saying that my grandpa had found gold and could afford it, but that was like all of his money. That's a story we like to tell, although I suck at telling it.
Anyways....thanks everyone. I really do appreciate it
Posted By: Mike on January 13th, 2014 at 10:34PM PST
Damn Mike, that is horrible.
I don\\\'t even know what to say because words really can\\\'t express emotions like that.
He sounds like an awesome guy, I never got to know any of my grandparents
I really feel you about not being able to listen to uplifting stuff, I would maybe recommend Grouper.
Also, we won\\\'t have any more of those zines until February now. So in the meantime I\\\'m going to send you some prints and stuff
Jgonz - Rad. Best of luck with your move!
I really want to go on a trip of some kind this year, the farthest I have been from my house is maybe an 8 hour drive away haha.
Sorry about all of the annoying front slashes. Typed the captcha in wrong and am too tired to fix it
Posted By: Tenant on January 14th, 2014 at 02:54AM PST
Sorry to hear Mike. Hope you`ll feel better soon. Take your time!
Posted By: S on January 14th, 2014 at 09:36AM PST
fuck yea for your grandpa, mike
people like him and my uncle make our lives worth living and telling
cry it all out and cry some more to portishead, blonde redhead, la luz, explosions in the sky, and radiohead fuck it
life only gets better
Posted By: fresh from mex on January 14th, 2014 at 11:35PM PST
thanks everyone for the words of support. I fucking love you guys
and thanks for more music recommendations
Posted By: Mike on January 16th, 2014 at 09:51PM PST
My dog, Lexi, just died suddenly. I think a lot of you have seen her on Instagram or on my Facebook. She's a pug, just like Sinclair's dogs.
I had just gotten home from work and my parents were cooking dinner. Lexi was in the kitchen near my mom's feet, like she always is. My mom tapped into her, but then Lexi just fell and didn't try to get back up. We tried to revive her. I breathed into her mouth and into her nose. We gave her chest compressions. She didn't respond. She was 13 years old, but it still doesn't make sense.
Again, I feel compelled to tell you guys.
I'm sorry. Im not making these up for attention. I wish I was. I wish it was all a lie and that it didn't actually happen. Just as I was starting to accept the loss of my grandfather, I lose my dog. I loved her. Life must be testing me right now, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I just don't understand.
Posted By: Mike on January 21st, 2014 at 05:34PM PST
it's crazy how the death of a mascot can be as emotionally straining as a relative.
your pug was your family member
i've had my fair share of tears over dogs, fucking killed me every time.
i'm sorry about your pug, and i'm also sorry you have to grieve another passing. you're one strong dude and you'll become even tougher
life only gets better, or so i like to think
it's a healthy way to see this as life testing you; what you make out of this is what truly matters in the end.
but i don't think it's very good to overthink the "why is this happening to me" or "trying to understand".
although inevitable and not that it is redundant, i just feel there is really nothing to understand from situations like these. you only get more confused and maybe even scarred or exhausted from overanalyzing these things.
we have the power to form our existence through the decisions we make, but we don't have the power to control death. nobody put a curse on you or god is picking on you, don't feel bad.
i too felt compelled to share some matters of the heart i was going through a couple years ago, you guys definitely made my then rough patch not so rough.
and for that i'm truly very thankful
from mexicali to wherever you are, i send you hugs my man
Posted By: fresh from mex on January 22nd, 2014 at 04:40AM PST
I'm late on this but my thoughts are with you Mike.
The pelican looks majestic in the B&W. Instagram never does the beast true justice. I'm sure he or she is proud of this pic and the pose.
Posted By: Eggs on January 24th, 2014 at 06:41AM PST
Fresh- thanks again for the nice words. I have to agree with you that it isn't a good idea to overthink things or think "why me?". My dog had died maybe an hour or two before I wrote that and really what I meant was I don't understand how, because she was pretty much fine, it was a sudden thing. But thinking back she had been acting weird for the last three days of her life and after telling the vet some of the things she was doing, he said her organs were probably shutting down. It just seemed so sudden to me.
Anyway, thanks again. And thanks to you too Eggs
Posted By: Mike on January 26th, 2014 at 02:39PM PST