Tripping in Target: Part 2

It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
Try not to make yourself an easy target, choose skateboarding.
Do I even need to say anything?
Who is this speaking to? That's right, target your advertising text at the person buying the stuff, your Mom.
"Gee, my boy is pretty aggresssive, I need to get him some of these for protection."
Since when is a simple description a selling point worth printing on your product? It's like shopping for a car with a sign that says, "Car, with Rubber Tires, Glass windshield." Green Transparent wheels! Finally!
For the tighter budget: You only get one kick-tail, and your wheels are PVC, yikes! Reminds me of my first skateboard. My grandfather refused to buy from a skateshop, no doubt thinking, "Why spend top dollar for a good board when he probably won't be into skateboarding next week?" SO I got the plastic wrapped board from the sporting goods store. a Nash.
Spiderman shoots a web over your eyes with this advertising text. (just in case you were not sure, it's a) SKATEBOARD, "PP Trucks" this means absolutely nothing. Again with the PVC wheels. You wouldn't put PVC coping on your ramp would you?
You have been warned! Don't sue us when your kid breaks his face while using our shitty products!
Welcome to the mainstream. This is like Coca-Cola using Charles Manson to endorse their products. (in my mind at least)
Keep an eye out for some "Official Sheckler Merchandise", or maybe "P-Rod Pro Products."
In comparison, T-Hawk uses some of the correct language (see the 'bearings' line...) But then includes a line for the "5 Huck Jam stickers"...
Here is one of those stickers. I wonder how much they cost to make? Added Value!
It hurts!

Yes, I have a part 3 coming too. But it's just about other strange products.

Come to my Slide show this Sunday at Family Bookstore!

Woodstock, NY

Jen from Guam...

Posted December 11th, 2008 by Bill Murray likes hookers on his______________?
i think you deserve the ed templeton offcial beard and bluntslide vitamin, id buy it
Posted By: DOWNING on December 11th, 2008 at 01:09PM PST
I didn't know Kryptonics was making boards again. They were a legit company long, long ago. This is pitiful. Parents buying this garbage for kids is just going to make the kids wanna quit skating after trying to ride this frustrating pile of shit. -Jason
Posted By: sea cliff vert ramp on December 11th, 2008 at 02:11PM PST
High Impact Caps and Guards to keep your kid safe on that 20 stair frontside flip.
I've noticed the obvious Tech Specs on boards as well.They're fun to read.
What's also fun is going to the Bose speaker thing near the iPods and cranking up to the max volume and walking away.
I also came by these weird ass trucks at Ross
I don't think i've seen a thrashed sponge-bob deck..
Posted By: Jgonzalez on December 11th, 2008 at 04:36PM PST
My first board was a hobbie cat or something like that. It was so cheap water took my full coverage griptape off.

Tony Hawk has definitely drawn a fine line on selling or not selling out. Yes he does endorse some crappy products and is putting out some weird stuff, but he is the reason I have a skatepark to go to. On top of that he has been skating when it was popular and when it wasn't. At least he's no Sheckler.
Posted By: Ryan on December 11th, 2008 at 04:59PM PST
Hey Ed,

my buddy just sent me this email. I would really like to see your response to it. My opinion is that Tony should draw the line at the video games and side kick phone; I don't believe if i were in his shoes that i would endorse this crap at target. my opinion on sheckler is that he's not so much of a sellout as he is just not a dude. he's just not cool and acts like a bee yotch.
Any way i'd like to see how you would respond to my pals email. thanks.

I just looked over ed's target day 2 post. I feel like he is one of
those skaters that would hate on scheckler and probably tony hawk too
for "selling out". I don't understand that. If a guy can make money and
get set for life while they are in their 20's then why not. Guys that
opt not to sell out don't make as much money and then they are forced to
work and/or do other things for the rest of their life. If given the
opportunity for something so great then why not take it. It is just like
any other professional sport out there, it is a business. Once you start
getting paid for a sport all the decisions that are made should be
business related. It goes the same way for me and you, if we were
getting paid little money to do something that we could get paid a lot
more for we would jump ship and go to that other company. Baseball and
basketball players don't stay loyal to teams for the most part they want
to go somewhere where they can win and get paid. That's just my two
cents on the matter. I feel like guys hate on people like sheckler and
hawk because they have something that the other guys don't have and they
want it quietly.
Posted By: mikeyb on December 12th, 2008 at 09:15AM PST
hey i work at target. its awesome! i get to tell parents why its a bad idea to buy spider man skateboards!
Posted By: scisssorhands on December 12th, 2008 at 10:02AM PST
she looked totally sensual as well as deeply tragic
in a twisted yet beautiful way. She reminded me of
an updated--- urban version of the French Painter Henri Rousseau's Sleeping Gypsy painting.
Ed being sooo sensitive -

HAHAHAHAH!!!! Nice link!!! HAHAHAHA!
Posted By: power to the peep hole on December 12th, 2008 at 10:26AM PST
Dear MikeyB,

I do NOT hate on Hawk or Sheckler. I have made fun of certain things Sheckler has done, (like tattoo his name huge across his back) and how his show makes skateboarding look dumb, (crying, placing huge importance on contests, and being totally scripted, like, playing the 'girlfriend' game on the TV show while fucking 3 girls a night in real life...) but never questioned his ability on a skateboard, or his choices. More power to him. If you can become a household name before you are 20, you are doing something right. But the fact that you become a public figure brings more criticism. He has power with a TV show that in my opinion could be used to make skateboarding (and himself) look better that what they portray. So I may from time to time poke some fun. Tony Hawk is a living legend. He was the best skater when I started skating, and never wasn't the best during my whole life. He paid serious dues, and deserves everything he gets. He does not make skateboarding look dumb, and he gives shitloads of money to charities and to build skate parks all over the USA. He obviously signed a licensing deal with some company to make cheap skateboards for Target and other stores using his big name. They are probably a great starting point for certain kids. I am not knocking the fact they exist, just at the funny ways they market them. For a skater who has skated his whole life and buys things from a regular skate shop, those boards are a total laugh. That is what my post was meant to be, a laugh at the weirdness of those products marketed to young kids and their parents. I mentioned Sheckler and P-Rod, cause those were the next two "Famous" skater names that popped into my head.

No Skate-Hate!

Respect to all skaters.

But that doesn't mean we can't poke some fun!
Posted By: ed on December 12th, 2008 at 11:00AM PST
thanks for the response ed!

I come to this sight for the laughs and that's what this post made me do!
Posted By: mikeyb on December 12th, 2008 at 11:05AM PST
i still have a nash
a wooden one with some serious grip on it in the shape of "nash"
Posted By: Eggs McManus on December 12th, 2008 at 12:24PM PST
comparing skateboarding to baseball and basketball makes me feel.. not too good:)
Posted By: nick on December 13th, 2008 at 04:26AM PST
masterpieces of portuguese polyphony cd
buy columbia watches mason jars cheap buy madhatter greeting cards cog hill gold course
ass cards sorry
Posted By: ErumveseEj on December 16th, 2008 at 09:18PM PST
Post A Comment for "Tripping in Target: Part 2"